Bhagavan on the Ego Games
The Ego Games
To facilitate us, Sri Bhagavan talks about the six games of Ego. The Ego in order to survive inside us always plays one of the following six games.
Domination of others is a natural game for the Ego to Survive. We normally dominate others saying we are parents, spouse, leaders, employers, officers, head of the family, etc. Our position as parent or a leader gives us the excuse to dominate others frequently. Most often in the pretext of concern for the organization we are working for or as concern for the other person, our mind subtly allows us to dominate others. More often we are unaware of this subtle interference of this Ego in many of our relationships.
(We shall see more of this in the Chapter, 'Inner Integrity'.)
2. Refusing to get dominated
We should understand clearly that it is the Ego that refuses to get us dominated. This is another subtle and a dangerous game that Ego plays. If we do not have Ego, why should we in all resist if another person is dominating us? In the absence of this Ego, we will happily surrender to domination by others. But most often we do not like to be dominated in any way. We should understand that this is nothing but the Ego playing inside us.
3. I am Right
The Ego in us always would want to prove that 'we are right'. Again and again, we would argue or try to prove that we are justified or right. There will be lot of explanations done by us in order to prove this. We should be aware of this Ego Game when we try to prove that we are right.
Why should we ever prove we are right? If we really right, there is no need at all to prove it. The Nature or the Universe or the God (whatever you call it) will prove it for us if we become aware of this game of Ego inside us.
4. You are Wrong
This is the other side of the above coin. Just as we prove we are right, we also prove that the other person is wrong. This is nothing but the Ego playing its game inside us.
Ultimately, the Ego in order to survive inside us will simply lead us into thinking that it is playing none of the above games. Ego will always justify itself. The mind will lead us to think that we are not all bound by Ego or we are absolutely right in our egoistic approach.
Very often we cover up our Ego by commenting about others or finding fault with others. We should be very much aware that it is this Ego and Hurt that is more often finding fault with others. Here we are not talking about practical and functional faults. We talk about characteristic judgments and blaming or labeling others.
Is EGO Good or Bad? Is it possible to be free of EGO and still function in the world?
It is a common question in our mind that without Ego it is impossible to survive in this so called modern world. This question was put to Sri Bhagavan, the spiritual Avataar and the founder of the Oneness Movement.
Question to Sri Bhagavan: "Sometimes
when we are speaking to people in the Corporate Sector or elsewhere Bhagavan,
when we talk about the ego - they often have this condition/view, they say
'without the ego, it is very difficult for us to survive. If we are not egoistic,
the world will dominate us, we would be finished.'
Is it really possible Bhagavan, to be really free of the ego and still function in the world; still be successful in the world; still be a part of this competitive life, Bhagavan?
Answer by Sri Bhagavan: "Yes! In fact if you are free of the ego, you would be extremely successful. What we have to distinguish between is, The Self and The Ego. Self is an ambition -the Will to fight it out or the Will to achieve. Now, we are not talking of those things here. The Ego on the other hand makes you positional. When you become positional, you don't understand what the other person is talking. There is no listening. Hence, there is no learning. Therefore you have every chance of losing. You have every chance of losing a business order. You have every chance of losing a good employee. You have every chance of losing a good insight. That way the ego proves to be very harmful for corporate success.
Here, you must know we are not talking of the self. The Self must very much be there; if you want to achieve success in the world. We are not talking about that. We are talking of the Ego and its games, which is harmful in the process of achieving success. So, you must learn to distinguish between the two".
"You take a stand, saying that, ok, this is very good medicine for you, you take that kind of stand. Then somebody comes and convinces you that this may not be the right medicine, why don't you explore homeopathy or ayurveda. You say ok, I will explore those things. This is being non-positional. That is you took a position, but now you are prepared to change your position if you are convinced. But then your ego interferes and say 'no, no, I can not be wrong, If I agree to what he says I will feel inferior to him, he will feel superior, therefore, no, no, this only is right'. Then ego plus position becomes positional. You will not move from that. Such people can also be called fools. They will never learn in life.
So, a person must be loose and flexible, not that he is a crazy fellow, changing his mind all the time. But, then when convinced, he must be able to change his position to a different point of view. That is why we are telling there are different points to you. That's all. You can change from this to that. So that you understand things, you can learn and you can unlearn. But, then your ego comes.
Ego plays six games, I am right, you are wrong; wishes to dominate, refuses to be dominated...so all this games the ego plays. If these games added to your position, you become positional, which means you are going to enter a fight. It can be with husband and wife, between father and son. All this happen if you become positional.
Suppose you are father and a son, a son also
must realise, father belongs to another generation, he can't shift him so
fast. Father must realise he belongs to another generation and that his perceptions
are different and therefore he must be willing to accommodate that. If the
son stands to his position because of his ego, he will think 'father is dominating
me' and father will think 'he is refusing to be dominated'. Then there is
a conflict. So if you become aware of these things inside, automatically the
mind will becomes non-positional. You do not have to put any effort, very
naturally it will happen".